Last week I was approached by a national news agency, “Die Burger” for a possible interview on my viewpoint on purity and sexual abstinence. This is in preparation for an article that will be published on youth day, 16 June.
Btw, I’m not sure which other countries celebrate youth day, but I’m mighty thankful that South Africa does, because it’s a day where we as Christian young people get to air our views at full volume to the rest of our land.
But back to the interview…
The questions focused on my personal convictions and why I chose to remain pure. Now let me make one thing clear, I’m not proud of my past. I was not a Christian all my life, but I’m eternally grateful to God for saving me.
However, having made those mistakes, it somehow helps me to be stronger, and in turn, give the young people some hope, telling them that I know exactly what they’re going through.
I love it when people ask me about sexual purity, because I just grab hold of my God-given ability to speak and throw out my testimony to them, and due to that, I can proudly say that I’ve made a commitment not to date. I think there are countless creative ways to share with others what God has done in our lives and I sure made use of this one.
So… here are the questions and the answers to the interview. As soon as I hear from the news agency on when and if it will be published, I’ll let you know.
- Are you sexually active and why/ why not?
- Are there still young people who believe in sex within the marriage only and who abstain until marriage? Are you one of them?
- Have you ever been in a relationship with someone who was against with what your standpoint in sex is?
- How did that work out?
- Are there groups for young people in the same position as you are whom they can talk to (perhaps groups where people meet, Facebook, mxit and other social chat rooms)?
- Do you think it is hard for people to abstain from sex?
- Have you ever come across someone who was raped or sexually abused and wanted to abstain as well?
- How much pressure do you get from friends, family and colleagues?
During my free time, I spend some time talking and chatting to young people about purity and I think I can relate to many things and issues they go through because I’ve been in exactly the same situations.
Just for some background info to some answers on your questions… I used to have sexual relationships with guys. And in and between that, I would date a lot of guys. This made me feel so cheap, because I would have one guy telling me that he loves me, and three weeks later, he would drop me, like a hot potato. I began to seriously wonder where I was falling short. There has to be a better way, something better. Did God create us young people to go through such heartaches, highs and lows? But the day when I met Christ, and surrendered my life totally to Him, everything changed to gloriousness.
When I look around the world today, hardly anyone gets married anymore, because it’s just so much easier to live together immorally. And those who are married have to face the destructing figures of almost half of our marriages ending in divorce. And I believe that the reason for that is because young people are practicing how to get divorced when they’re still at school. If you cannot keep a relationship in tact and committed when you’re still at school, how will you be able to keep it when you’re married?
Young people should focus on finishing their studies, aiming for their careers and become active in bringing about a change in their societies for the better. That way, when they do get to the age when they are ready for marriage, they will be able to make wiser decisions, and be better husbands/wives and fathers/mothers.
The HIV/AIDS rate will drop and so will the divorce rate.
Let me get to questions, and I’ll add on as I go along…
- No, I’m not sexually active. I’m abstaining, have been for the past 8 years, and I love it. The reason: a) as I explained above b) I believe that God has created a special man just for me. And the wonder is that I already love him so much, that I’m willing to wait for him. I pray for him everyday. I’m not going to give any part of myself to any other guy, not even a kiss or holding hands. The greatest gift that I can give to him is my purity. Just imagine, when I get married, and I tell him, I waited just for you. I can’t imagine the pain and the trouble we cause ourselves if we don’t wait. How can we enter marriage, a holy commitment when we feel second-hand? How can we get married wondering how our husband or wife will kiss me, will it be like that one, or so and so?
Having sex with someone is like a bond. And that’s what marriage is supposed to do. It binds you. But we go and bind ourselves to so many people without any commitment and then we wonder why our world is in such a pitiful state.
- Yes, absolutely there is. And I am one of them. I’m part of a few international groups who have made a pledge to keep themselves pure until marriage. We are also in the process of rising up an organization of young people across the world, called Purity People, whereby we shout out to the world that guys and girls committed to purity of heart, mind and body STILL exist. It’s not something to be ashamed of. Young people are hungry for the message of purity. Many find themselves trapped in a complicated web of relationships of hurt and pain, wishing they knew something better. The aim of Purity People will be to spread this message far and wide so that wounds can be healed and young people can be raised who can lead many generations still to come.
- Yes, I was. But let me clarify something here… you will always open yourself to sexual temptation as long as you are dating. Even though your relationship is not sexual, it’s almost impossible to keep your mind and your heart pure. So the objective is not to have a relationship and still keep yourself sexually pure, because we will fail miserably, even if it’s just in our thought-life, but rather, we should be passionate about keeping ourselves pure, and if a relationship will keep you from that, then don’t enter it. Don’t date. You can only marry one person, so wait for the right one.
- Er… we broke up. :)))))))))
- Yes, definitely. I’m not sure about mxit… as there is more evil brooding on mxit than good. But on facebook there definitely are a lot of groups. Eg. True Love Waits, Purity People to name a few… The internet is loaded with information on keeping yourself pure. Young people have all the resources available at the click of their mouse; they just need to turn to the right places.
- It depends. It can be. But as for me – I have a passion, a goal, an aim and a future husband that drives me to keep myself pure. I also keep myself pure for the sake of those who don’t, so that perhaps by just a glance at my life and my modest behaviour, they might catch a glimpse of purity’s beauty. And when I put everything into that perspective, it’s not hard at all. I have a Father in heaven who cheers me on.
- Yes. I have often spoken to young people at schools and youth groups, here and abroad, and they come with painful stories of their broken love lives. Some tell me that if only they knew, things could’ve been so different. It’s not easy to tell them that I also wish I knew better, but as from today, we can learn from our past, give it to God to throw into the ocean of “never-has-been” and move forward. We will come out stronger than ever before. There are numerous ways in which young people can express their commitment to purity. Just recently, I designed a dress for a matriculant’s evening gown. She was a child abuse victim, and wanted to share a message of anti-child abuse to everyone at the matric farewell. If you think hard enough, you can come up with some pretty original ideas on how to share your beliefs, and who knows, you might just help someone who feels ripped and torn inside to receive some hope.
- This is an interesting question… my close family supports me very much, in fact, if it weren’t for them and the teaching my parents instilled in me, I might not be able to testify to purity today. And for the extended family members who don’t yet agree with me, I keep praying for them.
Friends: this might be a slightly dangerous statement, but the kind of friends you choose will determine the kind of person you are. Like the old saying goes, ‘birds of a feather flock together’. I have chosen friends who share my beliefs, and friends who will encourage me when I get weary. That’s when friends’ true colours are shown. So if we have the wrong friends, then it really only falls back on us. If you do happen to have a good friend who doesn’t share your stance on purity, make sure that your light of chastity shines so bright, that your friend will be driven to conviction and change.