A couple of weeks ago, a shocking article appeared in a local national newspaper in South Africa. The content of the article centrered on a couple of reasons why so many marriages wither, even for newly-weds.
A certain sexologist by the name of Elmari Craig gave her opinion and commented saying, that remaining a virgin until your wedding night can be destructive for the wellness of your marriage. According to her, remaining pure suppresses your sexual urges which is often the reason why couples lose their spark when they’re married.
Heartbroken at her words, I wrote her a letter, and I sent it off to the news agency who published the article. Our youth are desperate need for the truth. If this is the advice they’re given, from so called “experts”, how will their questions ever be answered?
Here is a link to the article, if you can read Afrikaans. If you can’t, try an online translator.
Below is my letter to Dr Craig.
I’ll keep you updated on the letter’s happenings.
Dr Elmari Craig
RE: Die Burger Article – Pasgetroud… en jou voete kiele nie myne
Following your commentary on the article, “Pasgetroud… en jou voete kielie nie myne” that appeared in Die Burger a couple of weeks ago, I am appalled to hear that a sexologist thinks so little of us young people. I would have thought that your words would echo some form of exemplary nature, but I was devastated. I’m not sure what you base your knowledge on, but it is definitely wrong.
Having sex before marriage is as self-destructive as walking into a fire. Regardless of how long it takes, you WILL get burnt. I got the impression that you are convinced that there are hardly any more people who keep themselves sexually pure until marriage, and the few that you’ve heard of receive very little praise from you.
I’m so sorry to disappoint you, but there are still many of us around in this world who keep ourselves pure, and our forces are growing stronger by the day.
And even if we were only a few, or better yet, if it were just me, I would be proud to prove you wrong.
I have yet to tell you that the day I get married, I will not be like an old run-down car that needs to be oiled and panelbeated. No! Its God’s natural gift that pumps in my blood, I’m storing up passion and I will look back at my single years with joy and contentment, and a grateful heart to God for sparing me from being used and feeling second-hand.
How will you ever know how sweet love really tastes if you don’t wait for it? I’m already feeling the bursting and unexplainable joy when I can look into my newly-wed husband’s eyes and tell him, “I loved you before I knew you. That’s why I waited!”
Neither you nor anyone else will ever be able to rob me of this glorious conviction, and neither you nor anyone else will ever be able to convince me otherwise.
So if you’re still wondering, true love is worth waiting for. I love being pure and I’m proud of it.